Current mood:	worried
Current music:	The Smiths - I Don't Owe You Anything

The Smiths on a Friday Morning
"There's a club, if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go, and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home
And you cry
And you want to die
When you say it's gonna happen now,
Well, when exactly do you mean?
See I've already waited too long
And all my hope is gone
I am Human And I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does."

- The Smiths.

____

Sorry to get all depressing on your collective asses.
I don't think I'll ever stop feeling alone.
It's not that sad, really... it's just how it is.
I'm going to start drawing portraits of all the people I know in strange situations.
I started tonight with my friend Neil, "sitting in a garden grove watching flowers grow."

I've started seeing things when I shut my eyes.
Dreams that aren't dreams, pictures that move too fast...
I need a wire to capture it, like a video camera in real time.

If only I had the guts.
I'd like to walk up those stairs and knock on that door.
I'd like to say something interesting like I used to before.
I'd like to know if there's any reason to be here.

I'd like to know, I'd like to know, I'd like to know.

And it's the wrong people who remember.

I am dehydrating.

___

I know I've got to write a letter but I don't know what to put into it. What could I possibly say that would not sound cold and distant but also doesn't give any sort of permission?

You said some very nice things when you couldn't control your mouth.
___

I want to bring you out with a piece of string,
Tied up tight to your teeth.
Come down, come over, come in.

Please get to know the person I'm trying to be.
___

"You shouldn't go to them,
Let them come to you."
- The Smiths