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Midlife/Quarterlife Crises

May. 13th, 2009 | 10:21 am
mood: worriedworried
music: City & Colour - Sleeping Sickness

Dear Dad,
Why couldn't you have just bought a convertible?
Love, Raina.

________________________________________________

I need a new job. I want to start my career but I don't know what it is yet.
I wish I could think of a great idea for a blog that would become popular and gain mainstream attention, at which point I would get a book deal and all of the submissions people had sent in would be compiled and sold, with all profits going directly to me (minus publishing fees).

That would be ideal.

The idea of ever owning a house or car or any other assets seems almost impossible to me.

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Addiction

Jan. 30th, 2009 | 04:42 pm
mood: energeticenergetic
music: Amon Tobin - Natureland

Caffiene is an aphrodesiac.

That would explain why I can't sit still during the afternoon at work.

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Beating Like A Hammer

Jan. 23rd, 2009 | 02:18 pm
mood: refreshedrefreshed
music: Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal

"beeeaaaating like a HAAAMMMMER"
- Metric

I think I'm falling in love with Metric's "Help, I'm Alive." I don't really like Metric usually, but this song is wonderful! I feel shivery waves when she sings the chorus.

Just thought I'd let you know.

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1 2 and You

Jan. 21st, 2009 | 01:51 pm
mood: goodgood
music: Spoon - Stay Don't Go

"I only just met you before
But I can't understand you don't want me more
You maybe think I'm too smart and weird,
But that should only make you want to hear:

...

You make me feel really unsure,
But that should just make you feel secure.
Although we've only known each other a bit
Already I can't sleep at night and I feel like shit.
That's right."

- The Dandy Warhols

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A Collage of Today

Jan. 16th, 2009 | 10:51 am
mood: weirdweird
music: Beck - Milk & Honey

"I thought about
The things I thought about
Until immobilized with fear."
- Ben Folds Five : "Regrets"

your compatibility with _____ is SUPER!
CONGRATULATIONS! This red line shows your progress.

this weekend, i may be prompted to build myself a tinfoil hat, finally.

"I am mesmerized by tiny lines,
I'm watching as the shapes are drawing slowly from her eyes."
- Ben Folds : "Losing Lisa"

my stomach keeps making strange noises. i hope that it's not bothering my co-workers.

"Heaven-
Heaven is a place...
A place where nothing,
Nothing ever happens."
- Talking Heads : "Heaven"

i've been thinking too much about death again. that's not supposed to sound emo, or deep, or anything. it just comes in phases, and i'm in one right now. every morning i wake up and i am afraid. of COURSE i am afraid. it's not a joke, it actually happens, and that's it. we have no idea what happens then. it's immediate and final.

writing that was scary.

i can't wait until i go back to feeling immortal.

i really like matt good's singles.

ON THE OTHER HAND:
everything is going to work out okay.
that's basically become my overarching philosophy on life. everything works out somehow.
it's served me well so far.
something along the lines of designing your own luck.

i think this weekend, i will try acid for the first time.
i think i will listen to mgmt's album "oracular spectacular" and animal collective's "merriweather post pavillion" while that's happening.

i want to DANCE!

"the youth are starting to change."
- MGMT : "The Youth"

"WHEN IT'S TIME TO PARTY WE WILL PARTY HARD!"
- Andrew W.K. : "Party Hard"

Go listen to Charizma & Peanut Butter Wolf's "Apple Juice Break". It's short and sweet... like a small cup of apple juice.

It's almost lunchtime.

"Smoke baby, smoke baby,
More alcohol baby,
Cocaine in Montreal
And black out on the plane, baby."
- Hawksley Workman : "Smoke Baby"

Back from lunch, feeling better...
In the afternoon, I like to listen to sexier music. In the morning, it's all sad and frustrated. I am not a morning person. Beck's "Milk & Honey" is so good...

Okay.
I should get to work.

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11:30 AM

Jan. 12th, 2009 | 12:00 am
mood: happyhappy
music: Buffy

time went on all night.

i can't believe this is really happening.

you are so unbelievably beautiful.

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Weak New York

Dec. 28th, 2008 | 11:14 pm
mood: weirdweird
music: Justice vs. Simian - We Are Your Friends

that girl makes me want to be a narcissist
a lucky genetic masterpiece,
give an ol' gol' shrine to myself.

my mother once lived in a mysterious yellow world
where edges were brown and the saturation was down.

___


a five minute intermission in your absence
was the best part of the show.

JUST ONE MORE HIT OUT IN THE LOBBY BABY!

i stopped breathing when you walked in,
and if you don't go soon i might suffocate.

(i could be a little red fox,
stealing off in the woods,
i could have the little white tail you chase,
the green slit jealous eyes,
i could cuddle into your jacket
when you catch me
'cause i'm so sly.)

i thought i was strong enough to handle my self
but i was
pretty
much
wrong.

how would i ever hold you up
if i could never get across
a set of monkey bars?

[cohesion?! what's that?!]

____

a: new year's is coming.
b: YOU BET!
a: i made some resolutions!
b: i made some brownies.
a: i resolved to eat all of the brownies you made.
b: i resolved to let you eat them.
a: well, good.
b: but first, i'm going to set them on fire.
a: no! don't!
b: trust me, it's a secret recipe.
a: for burnt brownies.
b: yes, for burnt brownies.
a: great. well, my resolution was for non-burnt brownies so i guess i'm going to have to rethink things.
b: i guess so. you've got to get your priorities straight.
a: well, i really have to go to the bathroom.
b: no, don't do that.
a: why not?
b: i clogged the toilet.
a: oh.
b: yeah... i'm sorry.
a: it's okay. i'll just... wait it out.
b: i love you, you're so forgiving.
a: i wet my pants.
___

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Closets

Dec. 27th, 2008 | 04:00 pm
mood: okayokay
music: Beck - Lost Cause

outside the world has turned white.
not just the ground but the sky and the trees too.
my house exists inside a cloud.

i am lying down on my childhood,
i was told to empty my closet
to make room for the bones of a family skeleton.

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Winter Blues

Dec. 16th, 2008 | 11:21 am
mood: sadsad
music: Land of Talk - Some Are Lakes

Songs I'm Feeling Right Now:

The Fiery Furnaces - Waiting To Know You
Land of Talk - Breaxxbaxx
The Offspring - Self-Esteem
Dr. Dog - Die, Die, Die
Land of Talk - Some Are Lakes
MGMT - The Youth
The Black Keys - Act Nice and Gentle
Born Ruffians - Foxes Mate For Life
Weezer - Why Bother?
Leonard Cohen - No Cure For Love
Modest Mouse - Sleepwalking
Super Furry Animals - Fire In My Heart
Voxtrot - The Start Of Something
Dump - The Words Get Stuck
Mason Jennings - Darkness Between the Fireflies
Ron Sexsmith - These Days
Spoon - Anything You Want
The Weakerthans - My Favourite Chords
Wolf Parade - I'll Believe In Anything
Joel Plaskett - True Patriot Love
The Weakerthans - Civil Twilight
Silver Jews - Whiskey Talkin'
The Acorn - Evidence
Daniel Johnston - Grievances

___

"you can fall for chains of silver,
you can fall for chains of gold,
you can fall for pretty strangers
and the promises they hold."
- dire straits.

"and as the cars fly by,
i just break down and cry,
still i've got a fire in my heart for you."
- super furry animals.

"if i can't be a lover, i'll just be a pest."
- daniel johnston

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Self-Esteem

Dec. 16th, 2008 | 10:41 am
mood: depresseddepressed
music: Offspring - Self-Esteem

"well i guess i should speak up for myself
but i really think it's better this way
the more you suffer
the more it shows you really care
right?
yeah.

now i'll relate this little bit
that happens more than i'd like to admit
late at night [he] knocks on my door
drunk again and looking to score

now i know i should say no
but that's kind of hard when [he]'s ready to go
i may be dumb
but i'm not a dweeb
i'm just a sucker with no self esteem."

-the offspring, [modified].

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